How to Annoy Warrior Cats
by PercyandJay
Summary: Soon to be updated - A guide to annoying warrior cats. Please suggest who you would like to annoy- and review as always!
1. Chapter 1

**(Disclaimer: I do not own Warrior Cats, Hunger Games, or any other references featured below. Except for me. Thank you for being awesome.)**

 **Welcome to how to annoy warrior cats! Below is the list of cats featured:**

 **Jayfeather**

 **Lionblaze**

 **Bramblestar**

 **Featherwhisker**

 **Me (Soilstream, whom I own)**

 **Firestar**

 **Yellowfang**

 **(Coming Ups Below)**

 **Graystripe**

 **Ashfur**

 **Crowfeather**

 **Hollyleaf**

 **Onestar**

 **Briarlight**

 **And that's all! (Until I update again.) It will be in order as listed, so go ahead and start reading!**

Jayfeather:

Ask him what it's like being blind. Pretend you've realized you've offended him, and offer to make it up to him by buying a movie for him to watch. When he seems even more irritated, pretend you don't understand. (He's blind, btw)

Get Sol to yell that the British are coming. Tell Jayfeather that Sol knew about the eclipse so he must be right about this.

Every time there's a half moon, tell him you wish he could see it because it is beautiful. (It will remind him of Half Moon)

(After he breaks the stick in a later book) Say you fixed the stick and ask him if he wants to see it. ( - credit to Autumn Leaf Ninja)

Tell him the kits ruined his herbs, and trip him when he runs to fix it. (- credit to Whatsy )

Ask him why tons of fan girls love him but he can't get the attention of any clan cats.

Tell him about hurricanes and how they can make floods come. (He hates water) Then tell him you see a hurricane coming. When he freaks out, say: "Oh, well. At least none of us have a really bad fear of water."

Tell him he was never fit for a warrior anyway.

Tell Jayfeather that the "You're destined to be a medicine cat" stuff was meant for a different cat, and that he was supposed to be a warrior.

 **Lionblaze:**

Ask him why Breezepelt gets Heathertail when he's literally an attempted-murderer.

Tell him Cinderheart died at the moonpool. Before he rushes over to it, kill Cinderheart and bring Jayfeather over. When Lionblaze comes, blame it on Jayfeather.

Tell him Tigerstar said hi.

Tell Lionblaze that Cinderheart didn't actually care about the prophecy, she was just looking for an excuse to break up ( - credit to ChaseClouds )

Call him Simba. Then, just for fun, call Crowfeather Mufasa.

Tell him was born in Windclan and didn't need to leave Heathertail.

Turn him into a lion and set him on fire.

 **Bramblestar:**

Say your fixing his fur- then shave it so he's bald.

Tape Hawkfrost to his back

Ask him (when he's Brambleclaw and doesn't know about his "kits") if a brown tabby and ginger cat can have a black, gray tabby cat. Then ask him if a brown tabby and a black cat can have a and gray tabby cat. (Leave out Lionblaze because he doesn't fit in this.)

Ask him if he's evil over and over again. When he finally says yes just to get rid out you, record it and put it on speakerphone all around camp.

Say Squirrelflight is in love with Ashfur (before the whole death thing) again. Then, just after he kills Ashfur, say, "Oops- nevermind."

 **Featherwhisker**

Point out that every medicine cat after him had problems and ask him why he was such a bad mentor

Ask him how Goosefeather was and then say he must not have been good because Featherwhisker, in his being, is horrible.

Decorate his whiskers with feathers

Introduce him to Feathertail and watch them fall in love in front of Crowfeather

Call him Whiskerfeather repeatedly. When he starts correcting you each time by saying "Featherwhisker!" suddenly switch to saying Featherwhisker. Watch him call himself Whiskerfeather.

Say he looks a lot like Jayfeather. List this as similar qualities:

Both gray

Both fails

Both toms

Both utter fails

Both have the word feather in their names

Both are absolute fails

Both medicine cats

Both are epic fails

Both with dumb mentors

Both massive and nuclear fails

-The List Ends Here (And I'm not hating on Jayfeather)-

Watch him break down into tears.

 **Me/ Soilstream ( - I own this one)**

Ask her why she's such a bad writer. Watch her challenge you to write better then her. Claim that you're the author of The Hunger Games.

Ask her why she doesn't write a real book. Then watch yourself fail as she says she has... IN REAL LIFE! BAM!

Ask her why her biggest crush is a Clan cat. Then say he hates her so she might as well get a life.

Ask her if she's ever really seen a stream of soil.

Dump a bucket of dirt on her and then throw her into a stream. Then claim that Jayfeather worked with Tigerstar to do it.

Show Soilstream her worst fear... bunnies with red eyes... Oh-yeah, and that thing about dying from parasites... That too...

 **Firestar**

Tape Tigerstar to his back

When he's in the middle of a Clan meeting, yell, "Aw, Shadap!" (- credit to Mooncloud9 )

Lock him in a room with the entire dark forest

Ask him why all his kin are such fails

Ask him why Brambleclaw is a fail

Ask him if he liked Spottedleaf or Yellowfang in front of Sandstorm.

Bring Spottedleaf to life in front of Firestar and Sandstorm. Watch his reaction. Then kill Sandstorm. Watch his reaction to _that_.

 **Yellowfang**

Randomly bring up how sad Cinderpelt life was near Yellowfang.

Randomly say, "So how was life? Was dying fun?"

Tattoo her fangs yellow

Ask her why she's so ugly

Every time you see her, say, "So, how's your death going?"

Introduce her to Nyan Cat

Bring Brokenstar back to life

Give her a hairbrush

Ask her what deathberries taste like

Paint her teeth green and call her Greenfang

Whack her in the head with a stiff rabbit and then blame it on Raggedstar

Ask her if her kits died of poor dental hygiene


	2. Chapter 2

**(Disclaimer: I do not own Warrior Cats, Hunger Games, or any other references featured below. Except for me. Thank you for being awesome.)**

 **Welcome to how to annoy warrior cats! (Suggestions in the reviews for who YOU want annoyed are allowed!) Below is the list of cats featured:**

 **Jayfeather**

 **Lionblaze**

 **Bramblestar**

 **Featherwhisker**

 **Me (Soilstream, whom I own)**

 **Firestar**

 **Yellowfang**

 **Graystripe**

 **Crowfeather**

 **Ashfur**

 **Hollyleaf**

 **(Previous page above)**

 **(Coming Ups Below)**

 **Onestar**

 **Briarlight**

 **And that's all! (Until I update again.) It will be in order as listed, so go ahead and start reading! Also, YOU CAN ASK FOR ME TO ANNOY SOMEBODY... -_- Just thought you should know.. Even though I already wrote this above...**

 **Graystripe**

Paint his stripes gray to match the color of the rest of his pelt and ask, "Where does the _stripe_ part come from?"

When some at makes even the slightest reference to Silverstream, start humming a dreamy tune. (- credit to Mooncloud9)

Look up at him with big, cute, starry, innocent eyes and ask, "Where do kits come from?

Whenever he's near a body of water, comment at how it looks so silver.

Ask him why two gray cats had brown kits.. And no close history of brown cats in their past has been shown?

Paint his fur pink and call him Pinkstripe.

 **Crowfeather**

Every time he passes a rock, look at him and say, "I'm so sorry." (Because Feathertail died because or the fall from the rock in the Tribe) (-credit to Fallentail)

Tape crow feathers to his pelt

Tell him Hollyleaf takes after him.

Say he was never meant for Feathertail anyway.

Ask for his advice on breaking the warrior code.

Tell him you never knew crows were so grumpy.

Tape robin feathers to his pelt and call him Robinfeather.

Call Leafpool Leafpoo in front of him.

 **Ashfur**

Cover his fur with ash

Say that Squirrelflight and Bramblestar are a good couple.

"Accidentally" call him Dirtfur.

Tell that he and Squirrelflight never would've worked out anyway.

Say that Firestar set Squirrelflight up with Bramblestar, and the whole, "I choose Brambleclaw, not Ashfur!" thing was planned by him.

Ask his opinion on Hollyleaf

 **Hollyleaf**

Cover her fur with holly leaves and blame it on Leafpool.

Ask her opinion on Crowfeather (- credit to Guest) **And yes, that's a guest, but DON'T JUDGE MEH**

Tell her the warrior code was made up by Tigerstar

Tell her that Leafpool chose her name and watch her reaction. (-credit also to Guest)

Sing the Holly Jolly song whenever she says anything.

 **Onestar**

Ask him if he ever had a sister named Twowhiskers (-credit ALSO to Guest)

Pull out his one whisker

Ask him why he isn't Twostar, Threestar, Fourstar, etc. (-argh, how many times will the credit be to Guest?)

Tell him that one star in the night sky belongs to him. ( Pun intended)

Tell him he's a disgrace because he didn't listen to Tallstar.

Repeatedly say to him, "It's not your fault. Don't blame yourself." Even if he didn't do anything.

Lock him in a room with Mudclaw

 **Briarlight**

Help her with anything she does

Stand on your hind legs and say, "Look at me go!" while running.

Whenever she's with Jayfeather, say, " I understand, but he's a medicine cat."

Ask her if she want to go with you for a walk

Tell her she wasn't much use before she broke her hind legs anyway.

Tell her it's her fault that Longtail's dead and she's just a burden.

Tell her you've never seen a briar with light.

 **(A/N): I can't update 'til you guys suggest who to annoy, so please do- or this thang will NEVER (the word never echoes and after a while I continue) progress. Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

Okay guys, so, due to Fanfiction restrictions, I have made an important decision.

I WILL NOT BE CONTINUING- CONTINUEING- CONTINYUING- WHATEVER WRITING ON

INSTEAD I WILL TRANSPORT ALL SCRIPT

ONTO

WATTPAW

SORRY AND GOODBYE... Forever. :,,,(


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